I had this big, fiery blog all set to be typed up about some people in my life who have been extremely selfish as of late and have been purposely sabotaging some things that are important to me. I was going to vent about the problem in order to make myself feel a little better. Then the devotional I'm reading on my YouVersion app (For King & Country-The Overflow Devo...SO GOOD) pointed out the flaws in this plan.
Here's something I'm learning–the hard way. I'm learning when it's right to say what I'm thinking. Sometimes my opinions and desires are really unnecessary for me to express. Actually, that is probably the case more often than not. In my selfishness, I want to whine. To yell out, "That's not fair!" "You copied me!" "I know better than you!" "Mooom, she hurt my feelers!" etc. Guess what? Life ISN'T fair. People will copy you, will be smarter than you, will hurt your feelings. We're all imperfect, selfish human beings. And whining isn't going to fix anything. The Bible says in Psalms to "keep your tongue from evil." In Proverbs it says "a harsh word stirs up anger." The last thing I want is for these already difficult situations to get more explosive. I need to learn to guard my emotions of anger and resentment and focus on "soft answers" and a "wholesome tongue." Do I want people to look at me and see the girl that gets an attitude when someone does something wrong? No! I want my actions to point them to Christ, not my inherited anger issues.
The hardest thing to overcome is the irritation that I feel when someone purposely does something to set me up for failure. How anyone can be so bitter and miserable that they would intentionally do things to hurt someone else, and then revel in it, is beyond me. I admit, it makes my blood boil. How dare you treat me like a second rate citizen? Who do you think you are? I mean, REALLY!
How did the Pharisees treat Jesus? Well, like a criminal. How did Jesus treat those who persecuted them? Crap...He loved them.
While their actions might be entirely wrong–even sinful–it's my job to continue to love them (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Maybe their own guilt will catch up to them, eventually. But it's not my place to retaliate. God will point out the error of their ways, He is faithful to protect His children (Psalm 121:7)
My first step to recovery?
I'm going to try to memorize the first half of Proverbs 15, as a reminder of the type of responses I should have in my limited grammatical storehouses.
Wish me luck!