Everybody likes to place blame. Very few people want to admit when they're wrong. They pass the buck and blame everyone else around them. "My marriage didn't last because my parents are divorced and didn't give a good example of what love should look like." "I hook up with every guy I meet because I was raped 5 years ago." "I do drugs because my father wasn't around." On and on and on it goes. But hey, guess what? We're all responsible for OUR OWN actions. Man up! Quit blaming your circumstances for your problems. We aren't meant to dwell on the past and leave our present by the wayside. Sure, the past helped to form who we are today, but we can't let it define us. We need to leave what is done behind and look toward what is before us (Philippians 3:13).
I've had my fair share of experiences. But I don't let them consume my life, my thoughts, my attitude. I'm not a product of divorce, I'm a loving daughter. I'm not a survivor of bullying, I'm a successful college graduate. I'm not a heartbroken ex-girlfriend, I'm a hardworking writer. Choosing to rise above is simple, it only takes a bit of motivation. To define yourself by the good things, rather than focusing on the bad. Grief is a natural process, we all go through it; it's when you let that pain control your life that you've gone too far.
Quit living in sorrow and blaming others for your pain. Get up and do something good with your life. Get over the things that you can't control. What kind of a witness are we if all we can do is wallow in self-pity? Live your life for God, not for yourself.